Grandpa Richard's Kids » Humour

Can Babies Rollerblade

Richard — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 12:14:57 +0000

We all know that Evian (brand of bottled water) is just Naive spelled backwards, but their newest ad is AWESOME!!!

Talk about a cool use of technology.

Kids do Indeed Say the Cutest Things

Richard — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 22:22:18 +0000

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
10 year old boy

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
10 year old girl

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
10 year old girl

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
8 year old boy

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
8 year old girl

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
8 year old girl

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
10 year old boy

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
9 year old boy

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich.
7 year old girl

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
7 year old boy

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
8 year old boy

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
9 year old girl

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
8 year old boy

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
10 year old boy

Are You Bored Today?

Richard — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 12:00:20 +0000

Here is an idea.

Take a slinky to the mall and get it going on an escalator.

Art Supplies

Richard — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 01:44:52 +0000

Most children learn early in life that crayons are fun. Not just the many colours possible, and the satisfaction of seeing your finished art, but the absolute thrill of hearing mommy and daddy gush over your creations.

Most children also learn to apply their newfound sense of logic to this form of art.

“If mommy and daddy are so thrilled over this little tiny piece of paper”, so the child thinks, “they will go absolutely bonkers when I do my first mural.”

And where is this huge mural? Why, the hallway or livingroom wall, of course!

(way to go Brendan!!!)

Kids Say The …

Richard — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 08:20:32 +0000

I have been told that the following conversation took place recently with a 5-year-old girl who had a very messy room.

parent – “I’ll give you $5 if you clean your room.”

5-year-old girl – “I’ll give you $2 if you help me.”

Baby Brain

Richard — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:17:08 +0000

Subtitle, Brain Shrinkage During Pregnancy.

A co-worker introduced me to this term – Baby Brain. She claimed that she experienced this during both of her pregnancies. Wow!
Without further comments (I am smart enough not to open my mouth too wide!) Baby Brain is a proven scientific fact is a humourous commentary that I picked up on the Info-Go-Round website.